Stillbirth and Miscarriage
Day four of Dying Matters Awareness Week 2020 and its important to understand and hear the voices of parents who have experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth. In the UK every year there are around 250,000 miscarriages and 8 stillbirths every day. You may know someone who has experienced a stillbirth or miscarriage, or experienced this loss yourself, and this can be difficult to talk about. If you do feel comfortable sharing your story please use #DyingToBeHeard
How to support someone
You can help someone whose baby has died by talking about their baby, but we understand that sometimes it can be hard to find the right words.
However, acknowledging the death can help grieving parents, in addition to listening and asking if they would like to talk.
‘The thing that most upset me was not talking about her’ states a grieving mother in this short video from https://www.tommys.org/that helps explain how family and friends can give support.
Speaking to young children about a miscarriage or stillbirth
Explaining miscarriage, stillbirth or a death of a newborn baby to young children can be a difficult task, especially when trying to deal with your own grief and finding the right words to explain to a young child can feel overwhelming. Child Bereavement UK have a variety of resources to help with these conversations, including this short video and fact sheet.
Remembering your baby
Many people like to do something meaningful to remember and say goodbye to their baby. There is no right or wrong way to do this and if you don't want to mark your loss then that is okay, it is entirely your choice. Many people find it helpful to write a letter to their baby, or write thoughts down in a diary or journal.
These letters can be kept with scan images, photographs or any special items in a keepsake box. If your baby was stillborn or died shortly after birth, foot and hand prints and locks of hair can be taken to help create memories. You may want to buy something in memory of your baby, like an ornament, piece of jewellery or plant a tree. You may chose to have a funeral or ceremony for your baby or attend remembrance services in the years that follow. There are a number of organisations that can help you if you have experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth, please do reach out if you think you may need help and support.
Sands- stillbirth and neonatal death charity
0808 164 3332
Child Bereavement UK
0800 02 888 40